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Chapter 1: The Beginning

I don't consider myself beautiful, but I do turn the heads of the boys around me. I have shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes, stand about 5'7'' tall and wear a 38C bra.

I never considered myself "kinky" or different but I have always liked to wear sexy lingerie under my clothes and recently started to wear leather clothes and lingerie. Also, I have an extensive collection of high heels and boots that I wear to work and around the house. I love to "Dress for Pleasure" to please myself first.

The subject of bondage and restraint has always intrigued me. I have always seen myself in the role of the bound and gagged heroine on TV. The thought of losing your freedom through bondage sends chills up and down my body. If I could only find that special someone to share this fun with. Until then, I had to find an alternative.

I got started on self-bondage when my girlfriend Jennifer gave me a pair of handcuffs as a joke at a lingerie party that she and I had recently attended. Jennifer told me to use them on my boyfriends, but when I got home, curiosity got the best of me and I tried the cuffs on myself, first in front of me and then locked behind me. I really liked the feeling of helplessness and what was even better, was that I had done it to myself. From then on, I had other ideas for the cuffs, I kept on using them to tie myself up.

When I could, I picked up as many pieces of bondage equipment that I could find (ropes, straps, thumbcuffs, etc.). It became a challenge to see how many ways I could bind and gag myself and still get out without help. I was hooked on bondage, namely, self-bondage.

The one problem with self-bondage, is that once you are bound and gagged, the fun is all gone unless you can find some way to stimulate yourself. Yes, there is always that thrill of being bound, gagged and all alone not really knowing for sure if you can get out, without outside help. However, if you have devised a foolproof method of releasing yourself and have practiced it, that thrill is lessened considerably. Someone could still find you all bound and gagged, though.

I feel that bondage, and especially self-bondage, are very exciting when something is forced upon you that you can't get out of, or rid of, because of the restraints (i.e., tickling, sex, spankings, plugs, clothespins, etc.). I have used plugs, nipple clips and other small items on myself to enhance the feeling of helplessness, but I was always looking for more.

The other aspect of bondage that is exciting is the anticipation of something happening or about to happen that you can not prevent. This anticipation was the one thing that I was missing for quite awhile in my self-bondage fun. (I had not found that special someone yet to share my fun with.)

Recently, I happened to be looking for ideas in bondage magazines at a local adult bookstore. One magazine caught my eye. It had to do with the subject of enemas. I was never into "watersports" for my sexual fun, but I thought that I could use the enema as a stimulator, in some cases of self-bondage.

This particular magazine showed a pretty female with her hands tied behind her back, legs tied apart at the ankles, and her mouth gagged with a ball gag, receiving an enema from another female dressed as a nurse. The story line that went along with the photo set talked about the bound girl paying for the services an "ENEMA NURSE." The story showed a willing bondage and watersports combination.

After reading this story, and seeing the expression of apprehension and uncertainty on the face of the poor bound girl receiving the enema, I began to fantasize that if you are tightly bound and gagged and are about to receive an enema that you can't stop and then you are forced to retain the enema for a period of time, you would then begin to appreciate the finer points of bondage (light humiliation, slight, but erotic, discomfort, etc.) It's like being tied up and tickled, you can't control it. Since I can't tickle myself when I tie myself up, I thought I would try and give myself an enema.

The idea that I had for this adventure was to tie myself up, give myself an enema, and then get out of my bondage without making a mess all over the place. The planning for this adventure took about two weeks and this upcoming weekend, I was ready to give it a try. The problem that I had to overcome in this situation, was to be able to give myself an enema at some time period after I had tied myself up and then be able to release myself after the enema had come. I also wanted the bondage in such a way, that once I was tied, there would be no return. I was going to get an enema like it or not, and I would be forced to hold it until I could get free.

To make self-bondage more fun you have to have a way to make the feeling of restraint real. To do this I usually freeze a key to a lock in an ice cube. This lock is usually used to lock leather cuffs on my wrists. When the wrist cuffs are locked on, without the key, they don't come off. The key that is frozen in the ice cube could also be used to unlock a set of handcuffs or thumbcuffs that I sometimes use for my bondage fun.

I usually place the ice cube, with the key frozen inside, in someplace that I can't reach. Usually I hang the key from a hook in the ceiling. When the ice melts, the key falls to the floor and I can then release myself. If I have tied myself to a bed or chair, or have suspended myself, I attach a string to the key and attach the other end of the string to another hook in the ceiling above where I am bound. That way when the ice melts, the key will swing down to where I can get to it. This allows me endless possibilities for self-restraint. By varying the size of the ice cube, I can change the length of time spent in bondage.

I used the "key frozen in the ice" technique again in this situation and I also used the ice method to control the amount of time before I would receive an enema.

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